My heart goes out to parents experiencing quarantine with their young children. This must feel like “rainy day parenting” on steroids! I really want to help in any way I can.
Fortunately, as you all know, there are great resources online—people reading favorite books to kids, craft ideas, tips about fantasy “building” projects using blankets and other household items. And at least one daily walk outside is a really good idea, if you're in an area where it’s allowed. Exercise boosts the immune system and provides everyone relief from that cooped-up feeling. Still, my mind wanders to Little House in the Big Woods scenarios: long, snowed-in periods alone with family. This is completely new to all of us! People can get grouchy and tempers can flare.
So how do I help? One way is by reminding you to use the mediation tools outlined in brief on Squabblefest.com. I unpack all of this in much richer detail in my book, The Opposite of COMBAT.
What I always experienced, when I was housebound with my kids for any length of time, was that arbitrating (acting as a judge or referee) was both exhausting and endless. Often, top-town decisions by an adult just kick the problem down the road – so we shouldn't really be surprised if that problem bubbles up again tomorrow or the next day. Squabbling was snuffed, but not solved. Getting the kids actively involved in problem-solving not only gets more stuff resolved but it also teaches kids great skills along the way: listening, negotiating, compromise. No one taught me how to do this when I was parenting. Only after I became a mediator could I crack the code and put together what works consistently. It's been such a pleasure to share this with parents who have found it to be a life-saver. I call it the T.A.B.M.O.C. (opposite of COMBAT) protocol for mediation.
I encourage you to learn and deploy these techniques if you haven't already, and to hone them now if you’re already familiar with the process. We want the world to be a peaceful place to coexist, and that starts in the home. Even in times that feel eerily unfamiliar!
Please feel free to ask questions and air your frustrations by emailing me. I can post solutions. If you subscribe to my blog, you’ll receive the updates. You know, we’re all learning together!